Life as a father

My kid is already 7 months old. The time goes too fast. He already dragging himself on the floor and not crying so much anymore. Each day is a new day and now it is getting clearer that life goes on, like I don’t have to give up my hobbies and interests because he demands attention.

It is a totally different experience. I remember the day my wife said the test came out positive. I froze, pale with fear and anxiety. The first day was really strange, every 5 minutes I thought again about it and really couldn’t believe that I was going to be/was a father.

As a father now I understand something I saw years ago about the father being someone that is built into it mainly after the birth. At the birth I was there filming everything, not knowing what my reaction would be. Am I going to pass out from seeing too much blood? Turned out it was fine and I was smiling all the way. The first time I saw him I thought “My god, he has my father’s face!”. It was funny and strange at the same time. It took some time to get used to seeing him and thinking about my father every so often. Later it turned out that it - and other things - made me question a lot of things that I did not anticipate at all.

The first day was really hard, I never have been so exhausted in my life. When I came back to the room with my wife I had to sleep because I was at my limit. I slept 3 hours and woke up a lot better. The first week was by far the worst week. Then my mother-in-law left us I thought would be really hard but everything worked out great, even though it was really hard. A lot of things are happening for the first time in your life and it takes a time to process it all.

When we came to the third month, things started getting increasingly easier. We started getting out more, socializing and coming to the conclusion that the baby really likes to go out and see new things. This is still true and I came to get more accustomed to be outside more. In the beginning it was hard but the benefits are really there, what can I say folks. It’s almost like we are not supposed to be indoors so much.

As things become easier I decided in June to dab into the IT, studied for a month or so and got the AZ900 certification which was really cool as I was exploring new options. Since then I took a break and am proceeding with caution. As part of my curiosity during this time I created this blog, which sat almost unused since it came online.

This journey is making me prioritize some things over others and making me not overthinking as it creates too much anxiety.

• parenthood
• life